Travel Blog '09 -- Part 3 -- Quito continued

**This is an ongoing series recapping my last vacation. Any similarities to blogs living or dead is purely coincidental.**

Where did we leave off? Oh, that's right, we had just been scammed by the Mustard Thieves™. So, after that fiasco, we did what any American tourist would do. We ate at McDonalds. Yes, nothing like the golden arches to renew your faith in humanity.

On the way back to the hotel, we stopped at an outdoor store where I bought a new backpack, headlamp, and beanie. When we arrived back at our hotel, Los Alpes (which probably means The Adirondacks in Spanish), I tried to explain to the lady behind the desk that my backpack was stolen and our hotel key along with it.

She didn't seem concerned. She just said "no problem" and had the maid open our door. We were paranoid and figured with our luck the Mustard Thieves™ would deduce where our hotel was by the colorful knit flower that was attached to the key and ransack our room while we were gone. So we hid our bags in the safety deposit box that most people refer to as "the closet".

As we walked to our 2pm equator tour pick up, we discussed how we were obviously walking targets in Quito so we devised a brilliant plan of deterrence. From here on out during the trip, we were now Canadians! Everyone knows Canadians don't get ripped off. Only dumb Americans do. We rehearsed our plan: We were from Calgary, Alberta where Dolphin Trainer™ worked at a zoo (very imaginative, there DT™) and I worked as a security guard at a strip mall. Take that you criminals of South America! If only we had arrived in Ecuador with such a security plan already in place!

Our first guide of the trip picked us up outside a tour company office. I couldn't tell you the name, so let's just go with Adirondack Tours (which is Los Alpes Giras in Spanish if you're reading this blog for school credit). He was a very nice fellow whose name escapes me at the moment so let's just call him Our First Guide of the Trip™. He immediately tested our target-worthiness by asking where we were from. I said, "Alberta" at the same time Dolphin Trainer™ said, "Calgary".

Uh oh.

Technically correct, but I think he caught the uncertainty in our eyes. We would definitely have to step up our game if we were to avoid another mustard scenario.

He drove us to the Inti Nan Solar Museum which is supposedly located (unlike the big Equator monument a mere 250 meters to the south) on the actual GPS-confirmed equator. I say supposedly because I read one guy on the internet who disagrees. That's good enough for my skepticism. (By the way, 250 meters is 250 feet for those of you unfamiliar with the metric system or the type of internet research I engage in).

Anyway, at the Inti Nan Solar Museum, for only $3 you can shoot poison darts, marvel at a shriveled human head, salivate over deliciously alive guinea pigs, balance an egg on a nail, wonder if the fellow tourist from "Las Vegas" is some plant assigned to your tour group specifically to break you of your deep cover, and finally, watch a "demonstration" of the Coriolis Effect with leaves and a tub of water like this.

If you watch that short video, you'll see the crowd be convinced that water flow changes drastically within a few feet around the equator. I, however, live in the age of science and I have discovered through my research that these museum guides are nothing more than practitioners of black magic who manipulate the laws of physics with evil spells and incantations. Do not be fooled by them!

After the equator museum, Our First Guide of the Trip™ drove us to the Pululahua Crater which was given to Ecuador as a gift from the Hawaiian islands back in 1825. It was nice and swell which means I really have nothing to say about it.

Our First Guide of the Trip™ eventually dropped us off at a Tatoo adventure gear store where I bought a light jacket. This is noteworthy only for what happened when we entered. As we walked toward the back of the store we were stopped by a man who pointed at our backpacks and then at some lock boxes near the front. OK, I'd seen those before, so we handed over our backpacks and went on shopping. And guess what? IT HAPPENED AGAIN! That's right, this time *both* our backpacks got swiped! Unbelievable.

Wouldn't that suck? Ha, ha! April Fools! However, in retrospect, I must admit that the guy wasn't that official looking and he did have to track us down to give us the key for the locker. So overall I'd say that less than 6 hours after being robbed we weren't too much the wiser for it.

The day ended in an authentic Ecuadorian restaurant with Dolphin Trainer™ eating some kind of disgusting-looking soup while I had some kind of chicken on my plate that was possibly a guinea pig. Or a shriveled human head. Either way, it was fairly tasty.