Travel Blog '09 -- Part 5 -- The Amazon Day 2

**This is an ongoing series recapping my last vacation. Approximate date of completion will be December 21st, 2012.**

Although I was disappointed by the book collection at the Napo Wildlife Center, I was looking forward to finally sleeping in a bed covered by a mosquito net because it's not only protection against disease-carrying insects, it's also an impenetrable barrier against the Boogeyman who can never be completely stopped by a single bed sheet unless you're willing to risk suffocation.

Our cabana was quite cozy, in a Swiss Family Robinson meets the Holiday Inn meets the part in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where Short Round says, "Feels like I step on fortune cookies" type of way. Our bathroom included a wastebasket for used toilet paper which is not unheard of in South America, or in gas station restrooms throughout the United States. This meant that rather than worrying about clogging up the toilet, I would now have to worry about overflowing a small trashcan instead. Then again, Dolphin Trainer™ with his perpetual sickness was the one spending the most time decorating the toilet paper collection in our bathroom.

There were no locks on the front door, but there was a safety deposit box in the room. They basically dared us to use it since they told us on the first night that no one had ever had a problem, but they would gladly give us the key for the box if we asked. Before the trip, I remember reading one traveler's online review of the Napo Wildlife Center that claimed that some of their belongings were missing from their luggage by the end of their stay. Considering that we had just been victims of thieves in Quito, I doubt anyone would be surprised that we just shrugged our shoulders and said, "Oh well. I guess our stuff will be safe." We certainly didn't want to offend the Añangu by asking for a key.

But we should have! Or maybe we should have asked for a room with rodent nets because I awoke the first morning with a nice hole chewed through my backpack and a bag of snacks inside that was chewed up as well. I don't know what the backpack gods had against me, but I must have done something to incur their frequent wrath.

On our first day at the Napo Wildlife Center, while Dolphin Trainer™ was in the bathroom trying to keep his large intestine inside his body, our guide Miguel asked me what we'd like to see most during our stay because he likes to tailor a unique experience for guests depending upon their preferences.

Miguel: Anything in particular you're hoping to see while you're here?

Brandon: Anaconda.

Miguel: There's a good chance we'll see one if the sun comes out. They hide when it rains.

Brandon: No, no, the movie Anaconda. I hear it's hilariously bad. J-Lo's pretty tight, though.

Miguel: ???

In reality, I told him I just wanted to see anything I've never seen before. And then I added, "We're not really into birds or plants." Yeah, I actually said that. I didn't realize it at the time, but that statement was the equivalent of going to the Giza Plateau in Egypt and telling a guide, "We're not fond of pyramids or ruins of any kind. And camels are pretty boring, too."

Later I recounted the story to Dolphin Trainer™ and he told me, "Speak for yourself, I love birds!" Well, sorry DT™, but that's what happens when, during trip-defining moments, you find yourself a captive audience in a bathroom as your body performs a tribute to Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture.

Napo Wildlife Center is bird central! All birds, all the time. When Bambi was learning how to pronounce his first word, he would have felt right at home there. We awoke early the first day to go to some parrot licks which is where parrots (who were mostly green since Napo is an eco-lodge) gather to lick clay. We visited two separate clay licks and spent considerable time watching all the birds eat dirt. Dolphin Trainer™ spent considerable time in both places fertilizing the dirt at the bottom of outhouses. At the clay licks, you have to be silent and patient because the birds are very cautious of predators. Even though Dolphin Trainer™ fell asleep at the second clay lick because he hates birds, we both got to see some scarlet macaws which, when guilty, are usually found in the Library with the Candlestick.

The highlight of the day was supposed to be a visit with the local shaman who, according to Miguel, is "the most respected member of the community". He is a very busy man, but was going to take time out to demonstrate some rituals for us and hopefully cure the backpack hex I had fallen under. Before our scheduled meeting, we were taken to a workshop where members of the Añangu community make ceramics and wood carvings suitable for purchase. I'm not one to buy trinkets, but thankfully Dolphin Trainer™ always feels obligated to purchase souvenirs from locals. And it was good karma for him too, as he immediately had to run to the bathroom to leave some souvenirs of his own.

We were introduced to the shaman and told hang out on some hammocks prior to our personal audience with him. Unfortunately, we never did get our private session because we were soon whisked away to see some teeny little monkeys (or pygmy marmosets if you're one of those "into knowledge" weirdos). Later on I saw the shaman doing routine janitorial work and it made me wonder if "shaman" is an actual position or just something they take turns acting out to trick credulous tourists as if we're modern day Margaret Meads.

Añangu #1: "Whose turn is it to play shaman?"

Añangu #2: "I did it last week. Besides, my doctor says I need to stay off my feet."

Añangu #1: "OK. Hey, my daughter's cello lessons got rescheduled. Do you think your son can cover the 'naked kid who plays in the mud' shift tomorrow?"

Añangu #2: "No problem. I'll text him as soon as Dancing With The Stars is over."

On our way back to the resort, we saw a rare giant otter and even a small anaconda curled up on the river bank clearly disappointed with its lot in life. That's understandable. Imagine how you'd feel if the name of your species was linked to a movie like Eight Legged Freaks or Snakes on a Plane or Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?

A large group from Germany, who apparently thought Oktoberfest was a year round occasion, checked into the resort that day and at dinner one of them celebrated a birthday. We all got to eat specially prepared birthday cake except for Dolphin Trainer™ who was busy in our cabana making slithery anaconda-like droppings. The very lengthy birthday song they sang sounded more like a national anthem and made me curious if "Happy Birthday" is sung before German sporting events. I'm sure Norm MacDonald would be as surprised as I was that they didn't sing a David Hasselhoff song.

After dinner, Dolphin Trainer™ was well enough to go on a night hike. Miguel gave us some rain boots and he and Silvario led us on a trail along the outskirts of the resort. Armed with only flashlights, we spotted leaf-cutter ants, frogs, eight legged freaks, killer tomatoes, and lots of other creepy crawlies, some of which gave me bites that I still have blemishes from almost two months later.

A long day (and blog entry!) came to an end as I picked ants out of my underpants, showered in alternately hot and cold water, dried off with a towel speckled with dead flies, said a prayer to the backpack gods, and lay down inside my protective net wondering which Añangu was scheduled to work the Boogeyman shift that night.