Travel Blog '09 -- Part 4 -- The Amazon

**This is an ongoing series recapping my last vacation. My usual blog "Gardening Resources for the Manly Man" will resume when this series is over.**

I awoke on Friday, March 6th ready to fulfill a dream I've had ever since I first ordered books online: to travel to the Amazon! We flew from Quito to Coca (still in Ecuador) and were met at the airport by our naturalist guide, Miguel, who was a wealth of information about rainforest flora and fauna, but was surprisingly uninformed when it came to Amazon.com's return policy.

We boarded a motorized canoe and began a two hour ride down the Napo river which eventually feeds into the Amazon river which eventually feeds into the Atlantic ocean which eventually drops off the side of the earth, according to various 16th century maps and some people in Lancaster, California.

Our destination was the Napo Wildlife Center, an eco-resort owned and run by the local Añangu people who had a simple dream in the early 1990s: to build a Indian casino and siphon gamblers away from Las Vegas. Unfortunately, they did not have any ancestral land in the United States, so they were forced to settle on building a luxury eco-hotel in the upper Amazon basin. The Añangu community is unique in that they conserve 82 square miles of pristine forest by refusing to hunt or fish in the territory and therefore support themselves solely through eco-tourism.

We arrived at the "Welcome Center" and met our other guide, Silvario, a local Añangu who had a sharp eye for wildlife but a blank stare whenever I asked why some items don't qualify for Free Super Saver Shipping even if the total is over $25.

We transferred to a dug-out canoe and Silvario, Miguel, and Some Other Guy™ proceeded to paddle us up the Añangu river toward the lodge. It was exactly what you'd imagine a visit to the Amazon rainforest to be like: a meandering canoe journey through a convoluted thicket of trees and oversize vegetation pleasantly scored by a soundtrack of unseen insects, exotic birds, and distant calls from creatures you could hardly imagine and couldn't wait to spot.

Oh--and this is where Dolphin Trainer™ wanted to throw up.

Apparently, something didn't agree with his stomach. Perhaps it was the ceviche (or "soup of human mucus" as I like to call it) that he ate the night before. He suddenly grew pale and even stopped taking photos! When Dolphin Trainer™ stops taking photos, it's best to check for a pulse first before jumping to any other conclusion. After a few minutes of "Hey, now you're whiter than Brandon" jokes, Dolphin Trainer™ regained the color in his face and began stealing the souls of Amazonian wildlife once again.

It took about an hour and a half for our guides to paddle us to the lodge. Along the way, Miguel and Silvario pointed out many birds for us to photograph including the Hoatzin or "Stinky Turkey" which is a fun nickname to bestow upon your travel companion. At least, that's what Dolphin Trainer™ claims. Personally, I think it is not fun or funny at all.

Jerk.

In fact, if anyone was a "Stinky Turkey" while we were in the Amazon, I'd say it was Dolphin Trainer™ who unfortunately never fully recovered from his sudden sickness and spent a lot of quality time over the next 3 days adding to the human compost of the jungle.

When we arrived at the picturesque resort nestled on the shore of Añangu lagoon, we were greeted by the manager of the hotel, the bartender with welcoming drinks on a tray, and a bank of Wheel of Fortune slot machines (their dream came true!).

The resort consists of 10 native-style cabanas, a large dining hall, and a 50 foot observation tower. I could hardly contain my excitement as I ran up the cozy footpath to the main building. After years of anticipation, I knew this would be a moment to savor. I leaped up the steps and entered a place that, up to that point, had only seemed to exist in my imagination. Breathlessly, I tried to communicate my eagerness to one of the workers who clearly did not speak much English at all. After some moments of confusion, he finally understood and pointed to a corner of the dining hall.

And there it was.

Or...wasn't.

I found just one lousy bookshelf sparsely filled with less than 20 used books. I don't know where the hell Amazon keeps that huge inventory, but it certainly isn't at the Napo Wildlife Center.