Travel Blog '09 -- Part 16 -- Galapagos Day 7 -- Espanola

**This is an ongoing series recapping my last vacation. These are the voyages of the yachtship Galaxy. Her ongoing mission: to explore strange Galapagos islands, to seek out uniquely evolved life forms and isolated populations, to boldly go where Charles Darwin has gone before.**

Gardner Bay on Espanola Island might contain the most beautiful beach out of any we encountered in the Galapagos. Here, King Matus and Queen Milena came closest to the island paradise destination they were falsely promised. All along the picturesque shore lay dozens and dozens of sea lions basking in the sun, waiting to be photographed.

One juvenile was particularly playful and photogenic. Nicknamed "Cuddles" by the chicas, this little fellow with large anime eyes curiously scooted over to our group. Suzanne sat on the beach snapping photo after photo as Cuddles shimmied closer and closer until, in a surprisingly quick move, the sea lion kissed Suzanne's feet and elicited "aww's" from everyone.

Everyone except for Pepe.

With a rage coursing through his veins usually reserved for faux-humping chicas, Pepe unleashed a verbal lashing reprimanding Suzanne for violating the park's two meter rule of distance between humans and animals. Cuddles, on the other hand, was spared any lecture at all which starkly illustrated Pepe's favoritism toward fellow natives. Pepe, after all, was born on the islands.

In Antarctica, there is a five meter rule of avoidance. However, they sensibly say that it's OK if the penguins approach you as long as you stay still. In fact, we were encouraged to lie down to see if any penguins were brave enough to stand on top of you (which happens). No such shenanigans are allowed on the Galapagos. At least not on Pepe's watch. In fairness to Pepe, he has come along way since he first became a guide and enforced the following Hollywood diva-like rules for observing Galapagos animals:

1. No photos
2. No autographs
3. No direct eye contact
4. No brown M&Ms in the candy bowl

Unfortunately for Suzanne, Cuddles violated the two meter rule two more times (although Cuddles tells a different version of the events) causing Pepe's blood to boil redder than any of the water you'll see in the movie The Cove. After our beach walk, we had our last snorkel as passengers of the Galaxy, swimming around a rock outcropping where we saw rays camouflaging themselves in the sand. Suzanne was not allowed to snorkel and sat in time out facing away from all the action.

I ended the snorkel with a convincing dead man's float which attracted no attention. Incensed, I vowed to teach them all a lesson by actually drowning if I ever got another chance. On the ride back to the Galaxy, I was unlucky enough to not be in the panga that had a marine iguana swimming next to it. Suzanne was in that panga, but Pepe covered her eyes. Such was the extent of her punishment.

By the way, I mentioned before that one of the panga drivers was named Nixon. This guy was always saying things to me in Spanish that other crew members laughed at, making me feel uncomfortable and suspicious. So one time when I hopped in his panga and he started in with his usual patter, I fired back a machine gun-like barrage of vocabulary words that I knew he wouldn't understand. "What?" he queried. I just laughed and said never mind as he gave me a worried look. It works both ways, buddy.

Back on board I finished watching Ratatouille during siesta time. After that, Dolphin Trainer™, Bill, Matus, Milena and I took a tour of the bridge which is where the captain hangs out pretending to monitor maps and radar. I say pretend because the captain showed us how the boat is actually mechanically attached to a predetermined course like an amusement park water ride. Twice a year, the water around the islands is drained so the entire apparatus can be cleaned. Must be some sight!

Our last land excursion was a loop trail around Punta Suarez. We were warned to prepare for a hot, unprotected hike. Crabs and marine iguanas lazily gazed at us as we landed and walked on the lava rock. Further inland, we passed through a major blue-footed booby zone on our way to a blowhole. As we continued along the loop, Laura, a seasoned traveler with more than 20 fully stamped passports, revealed that she was about to pass out. I don't know the details, but I think she brought no water, no hat, no sun protection at all and then sprinted back and forth on the trail in an attempt to make the hike more challenging. Somehow she was able to continue and was even lucky enough to spot the rare Galapagos hawk which, on Espanola, is often mistaken for a mocking bird.

The Galaxy left Espanola and headed to San Cristobal where our cruise began six days earlier. On the way, Dolphin Trainer™ and I hung out on the top deck looking for whales and dolphins, finding neither. At our last daily briefing, we passed around an email list so everyone could share their trip photos. I took the time to sign a guestbook in the lounge multiple times under many aliases as is my wont. Let future passengers wonder about "Max", the lumberjack from the Pacific Northwest who enjoyed the "crisp, barbecued taste of booby" or the confessions of 7 year old "Timmy" who was glad that the couch in the lounge didn't stain after "going pee pee" on it.

Not long after the sun went down, we arrived at San Cristobal and got to spend a few hours tasting the nightlife of Puerto Baquerizo Moreno where Dolphin Trainer™ and I would spend two extra days scuba diving before flying back to Quito. Maggie and Marjorie were allowed to leave their Galaxy duties behind and ride the pangas to the dock, ready to party and both dressed to impress. Of course we all know who Maggie was trying to impress. Suzanne, on the other hand, spent the entire time locked up in the brig.

We explored the town with the chicas. Once again, kids were out in force, this time playing on those coin operated kiddie rides that you see in malls and shopping centers. I hopped on one, but some parents shooed me away as if a 35 year old man who used to be called "small fry" in elementary school would be able to break it. At a dive shop called Galakiwi we met a nice woman named Karla who told us to stop by in the morning to see if there were any dives available that day since nobody likes to pre-book dives for unreliable tourists.

Pepe told us to meet him at a certain local bar and for some reason we actually went there. This time, I declined a free round from Dolphin Trainer™ and we soon left since the vibe at the place was weird. Pepe never showed up which makes me wonder what was going on. I'm just waiting for Dolphin Trainer™ and the chicas to come down with some incurable disease that can be traced back to that bar.

We played some games our last night on board the Galaxy. The chicas brought out two moving boxes worth of candy that they had been hiding in their cabins. It was only 20% of what they originally started the cruise with having gorged themselves a few days ago trying to eat away the pain of Carlos' departure. The Galaxy, by the way, had a candy jar in the lounge full of chocolate treats which I emptied on a daily basis. The jar was near a spectacular invention called a water cooler. This modern marvel allowed any passenger to drink free, purified water any time of day! I mention this because some cruise ships don't think free water is a necessary amenity. The Explorer ship that I took to Antarctica charged for water and is now at the bottom of the ocean. That, my friends, is karmic justice.

King Matus pulled out his laptop and showed us pictures and videos from his kingdom of Slovakia. He invited us to be his royal guests whenever we want to visit. We said goodbye to the chicas since they would be leaving the boat earlier than everyone else to travel to Isabela Island where they would spend the next two days. We made plans with them to reunite in Quito for dinner the night before we were all scheduled to fly out of Ecuador.

I didn't really sleep too well that last night on board the Galaxy. I suppose my thoughts of all the adventures we had enjoyed over the past week kept me awake most of the night. Of course, the constant screams of "Get me out of here!" and "I'll never go near a sea lion again!" from somewhere deep within the bowels of the boat didn't help me sleep, either.

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