Travel Blog '09 -- Part 13 -- Galapagos Day 5 -- Santa Cruz -- Subsection A

**(movie guy voice) In a world...Where blogs go unread forever...One man attempts the impossible...(explosions)...An ongoing series...(woman screams: "You can't finish this!")...Recapping his last vacation...(gratuitous visuals of smoking hot bikini chicks)...Becomes a journey...Of self-discovery...(more explosions)...Travel Blog....(musical crescendo)...'09...(quickening heartbeats)...Continues...(child whispers: "I see mustard stains")...Now.**

When Dolphin Trainer™ and I first began discussing a Galapagos trip, we both agreed that we wanted to do some scuba diving. We preferred a mix of both diving and regular land excursions, but, unfortunately no one offers that. We'd have to choose between a live aboard (which is basically nothing but diving) or a regular cruise with no dives. We chose the latter which was probably better for me since my diving skills are as good as my skills at concise blogging.

However, we decided to stay an extra two days on San Cristobal (where our cruise would end) to do some day trip dives. In case we couldn't find anyone to take us out those days, we convinced our travel company, Inti Travel and Tours, to set up two dives for us during our cruise for when we stopped on Santa Cruz island. While the rest of our group visited the Charles Darwin Research Station (seriously, do they have to name everything after that guy?!), we would do two dives and meet up with the group at the end of the day. It would cost us more, but we figured it'd be worth it.

We had to wake up early to get to the dock on time. Marjorie made a special breakfast for us and we left before everyone else awoke. Carlos was nice enough to escort us to the dock and wait for the dive shop to come pick us up. The day before, Carlos kept asking us what dive shop our tour company booked for us. I didn't know because I forgot to write it down. He asked if it was Sub-Aqua and I said I didn't recall what the name was, but I knew what it wasn't. And it wasn't Sub-Aqua. I was certain of that.

So, once the guy from Sub-Aqua arrived (oops!), we said goodbye to Carlos and thanked him for being such a great guide. Although he'd deny it, Dolphin Trainer™ wept openly as he gave Carlos an uncomfortably long embrace. I just shook his hand. The Sub-Aqua guy was on a bicycle so he got us a cab and we traveled to his shop which was less than five minutes away. Once there we got our gear squared away, met our female divemaster (who we will call MasterChica™ since she called all the guys chicos), and also met some of our fellow divers (one of which was a free-spirited hippy woman named Leslie? who was also happened to be a divemaster).

They put us in a cab with an young and experienced diving couple from Turkey and we drove a half hour or so from Puerto Ayora through the highlands to the Itabaca Channel where we hopped onto the dive boat and made our way to our first dive spot: Daphne Minor. At this point, I should reiterate my diving ability. I suck. Literally. I suck a lot of air, way too fast, which (among other things) makes me a poor scuba diver. I was certified in 2007 and prior to arriving in the Galapagos in March of 2009, I had logged only 17 dives. Most of the diving websites I found said they require at least 20 dives to allow you to dive in the Galapagos. Dolphin Trainer™ said it didn't matter and that I should lie. Maybe if I was a dolphin he'd care more for my safety. I didn't lie, so perhaps I'd should have been more wary of Sub-Aqua who apparently didn't care?

I remember during my certification class, they went around the room asking everyone why they wanted to learn how to scuba dive. I said, "I want to dive in the Galapagos" and one of the diving instructors laughed and shook his head: "You're gonna have to wait a looong time before you're qualified for that." Well, ha ha on him! I went anyway! So there!

Although, now I know why they recommend you be experienced.

Dolphin Trainer™, it should go without saying, is a diving expert since he practically dives everyday at work to clean off the gunk from the tanks where his tyrannical zoo keeps dolphins and other poor, innocent marine life cooped up in an unnatural environment forcing them to do circus tricks for food and let people gawk at them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even on holidays!

Sorry, Flipper. There is no Santa Claus for you.

OK, back to my first Galapagos dive. Things didn't start off too well as someone pointed out that I put my wetsuit on backwards. Sure, it's a understandable mistake when it's your first time putting on a wetsuit, but not when you've already logged 17 dives. I was the last one to get in the water. They split us into two groups and I descended following MasterChica™.

We swam against a pretty hefty current and it didn't take too long for me to fall behind. I don't recall seeing anything more than some starfish. Being the air hog that I am, I saw that I was running low on air, but I couldn't catch up to MasterChica™ to tell her. Then, they all went over a ledge and disappeared. I knew I couldn't follow, but I also kept thinking that you should never leave without telling anyone or be alone in general. Finally, I decided I wasn't going to die in the Galapagos, so I surfaced by myself. Not long after I came up, a lady popped up out of nowhere and had the same story: she couldn't keep up with the group. I'll tell you what, it really feels good knowing you're not the only moron.

Surprisingly, when I got back to the boat, Dolphin Trainer™ was already there! And he wasn't happy. Apparently, the "divemaster trainee" that led his group made them sit on the bottom for 15 minutes and then told Dolphin Trainer™ to go back up with a guy who was low on air despite Dolphin Trainer™ having more than half of his air left! When the Turkish couple came back into the boat they were extremely angry also. "Worst dive ever" said the girl. "Worst dive ever."

So the boat was pretty quiet as we made our way over to the next dive site. The crew knew that everyone was unhappy (except me because, hey, it was just a regular dive for me!). We saw some dolphins and the boat chased them for a bit in an attempt to say, "Hey--look at the dolphins! Bet you don't feel ripped off for paying lots of money for a crappy dive now, huh? Cause look, them are DOLPHINS!" MasterChica™, by the way, didn't say anything to me and seemed to be unaware that I surfaced early.

We arrived at our second dive site, Isla Mosquera, and ate lunch. I listened as Leslie? the hippy divemaster explained that her biggest problem is not using enough air. Apparently, she can dive for two hours straight because she forgets to breath sometimes. Oh, to have that problem! Dolphin Trainer™ snorkeled while everyone ate in hopes of salvaging his bad dive experience. For the second dive, MasterChica™ took Dolphin Trainer™, the Turkish couple, and the other experienced divers while the "divemaster trainee" took me and the other losers. This time our group stayed together. As always, I surfaced early, this time with the same lady as before and her husband (who was the guy that Dolphin Trainer™ was forced to ascend with in the first dive).

They both seemed worried that we were in open water danger and they actually swam to the shore because they thought the sea was too rough. When I first talked to this older couple in the morning, they said they had done like 80 dives. But they were as bad as me! I hope that's not me 60 dives from now. They seemed to think nothing was wrong with their diving skills and Dolphin Trainer™ says that's what separates me from them--at least I know I am crap and want to get better.

Dolphin Trainer™ said his second dive was great. He saw a school of 20 sharks swim over his head. If only he could have forced them into a tank and charged people to see them, then he would have really felt at home. We did not tip anyone at Sub-Aqua. Dolphin Trainer™ didn't want to and from talking to all the other divers (including the Leslie? the divemaster with gills) none of them tipped either. All were unimpressed with Sub-Aqua.

Although we had no problem skipping the Charles Darwin Research Station to do some dives, we still wanted to do the 2nd scheduled excursion of the day, which was a trip to the highlands where you can see giant land tortoises in a more natural environment. We didn't know if we'd be back in time, so we paid extra to have Sub-Aqua coordinate our own private tour. We didn't realize that our private tour would be just a cab driver taking us there and giving us a "tour" even though he hardly spoke any English. Sub-Aqua wanted to save money, so they convinced the Turkish couple to join us (so they wouldn't have to pay for a separate cab for them).

We had a nice chat with the Turks in the cab and they gave us good advice on dive sites around the world. When we arrived at the highlands, we saw a bus that said "Galaxy" on it and we found that our group had just arrived. We bid adieu to the Turkish couple (who then got the cab driver guided highlands tour) and we rejoined our group where we met our new naturalist guide for the rest of the trip.

His nickname was Pepe and it didn't take long to realize that he was not Carlos. In fact, he was the complete opposite of Carlos. At this realization, Dolphin Trainer™ wept openly once again.

Will Dolphin Trainer™ regain his composure? Will Pepe win the hearts of the chicas? Will Brandon ever finish this blog series? These questions and others might possibly be answered in Part 14 -- Galapagos Day 5 -- Santa Cruz Subsection B!

Coming soon to a blog that looks a lot like this one.