Dolphin Trainer™ has sent me all the photos he took on the trip. I should mention here that even though all my camera equipment was stolen, Dolphin Trainer™ happen to bring his own video camera and an extra waterproof camera along with his main digital camera. So, I did get to record footage and take pictures after all. Being on vacation and having your camera equipment stolen is like being castrated, so I thank Dolphin Trainer™ for giving me my balls back, so to speak.
The vast majority of these photos were taken by Dolphin Trainer™:
From Quito to Coca, we flew in Ecuador's newest and most sophisticated aircraft.
Here I'm reading Steve Martin's "Born Standing Up". I'm probably the only Amazon tourist to ever spend the majority of their visit thinking about Steve Martin's stand up career. Unfortunately, it detracts from your experience when every time you see a monkey you imagine it with a fake arrow through its head.
"Come visit the Napo Wildlife Center and leave civilization behind! Oh--and you can also surf the web with our high speed internet!" No joke--they did have internet access. It cost like $375 for five minutes, but when exotic birds are carrying your internet data packets, that's a bargain, my friend.
This was our cabana. 100% built by the Añangu community except for the stairs which were painted by Ronald McDonald.
My invisible friend Arthur and his girlfriend Leslie take in the view.
This is where the poopy paper goes! Looks like a smurf might have just taken a #2.
Dolphin Trainer™'s mosquito net bed. Note the sad intrusion of California values into the Amazon.
The lagoon the resort overlooks. One could only guess what silly made up creatures cryptozoologists think live in there.
Our guides, Silvario (with hat) and Miguel, relax during a mandatory 15 minute union break. We weren't allowed to ask questions during this time.
Dolphin Trainer™ and I with Some Other Guy™ in the back. If he looks unhappy it's because he's sick of watching Arthur and Leslie's inappropriate PDA behind us. I don't blame him.
The appropriately named "Stinky Turkey" is one of the reasons Ecuadorians are thankful they don't have to celebrate Thanksgiving.
Looks like the beginning of a nice action shot, but in reality the Añangu are talented taxidermists.
The handy dandy Letter Opener bird.
Some Amazonian birds enjoy traditional Kabuki theater.
This species of bird wears blinders as a fashion statement.
Paddle on, Silvario! Miguel's gonna take another 15.
Parrots in the Amazon like to lick the clay all the way down to the tasty bubble gum center.
The Parrots Templar™ have guarded the entrance to this ancient cave for well over a millennium. The blood oath they took to protect the secrets contained within has cost them the joy of all the pirate shoulders, yummy crackers, and comfy cages in upscale American homes that their uncommitted contemporaries have enjoyed.
I caught these so-called "wisest" creatures of the forest flushing their toilet paper straight down rather than discarding it into the trashcan. Tsk, tsk!
An Amazon peepshow.
"Hey man, let me see, too!"
Can you imagine how funny this monkey would look in a King Tut costume? I did.
This frog is dreaming of retiring in France where frogs are loved and respected.
This cute little froggie is learning about the birds and the bees via Arthur and Leslie.
Silvario, Miguel, and Dolphin Trainer™ pay no heed to Yoda's warnings about what lies ahead.
Silvario demonstrates how the Añangu construct fiber optic cable out of leaves.
The stairs leading up to the tree canopy platform were built by the Añangu using only the scrap metal indigenous to the Upper Amazon basin and the ultrasonic welding techniques passed down through generations of oral tradition.
We were so high up in the canopy that from this height, the Bullet ants looked like just regular old ants.
Your typical MyAmazonSpace self-portrait.
This beetle was lucky enough to only lose one of his legs while many of his comrades lost their lives in the epic Brandon Muller vs. The Bugs of the Amazon War of 2009.
Leaf cutter ants can clear five acres of rainforest before a Hollywood celebrity can make one phone call to plan a charity event to raise awareness for one lost acre.
Another lucky survivor of the war to end all wars, The Brandon Muller vs. The Bugs of the Amazon War of 2009. Check out his full body cast as he rests in the insect infirmary.
It's hard to gauge the size of this thing, so I'll put it this way: from front to back, it's almost the size of *two* sarphenikhart florbas! NO JOKE!!
A casualty of the infamous Brandon Muller vs. The Bugs of the Amazon War of 2009. I didn't like the cut of its jib.
You probably won't believe this, but to give you a true sense of the scale involved here, twenty glorrbentags could easily fit inside this spider! And its web could cover an entire cuwspe of plydisteri!! WOW!!
For, uh, diplomatic reasons, I decided not to involve any spiders in the historic Brandon Muller vs. The Bugs of the Amazon War of 2009.
Probably the most interesting aspect of all these insect photos is that each one was taken from my backyard garden whereas you think they are from the Amazon! Ha ha! Fools! If you are a long time follower of my blog, you wouldn't be surprised.
Unfortunately, here I looked up just in time to see Arthur and Leslie doing things that would make Bonobos blush. <--Click that link!
Did you know that bats hate to cling to wood? Well, now you don't.
I snapped this picture of either a rarely seen Giant Otter or the Loch Ness Monster vacationing in the Amazon.
The King of the Amazon Rainforest is so feared and so ferocious that the Añangu sacrifice a virgin to it during every blood moon to keep it from feasting on human flesh.
Just think, this monkey is performing a high wire act in the forest *FOR FREE* rather than capitalizing on its talents and making a name for itself on the Barnum and Bailey circuit. Stupid monkey.
These are two Wild and Crazy guys!...I mean, monkeys! Sorry, it was a good book.
Again, you can't tell from this photo, but trust me, this Anaconda was bigger than a quark! Up *or* down! HOLY WOWZERS!
Strippers in the Amazon, although very talented on the pole, are not very blessed in the looks department.
The dreaded caiman would be on top of the Amazon food chain if it weren't for the giant otter which itself would be at the top of the food chain if it weren't for the vacationing Loch Ness monster which itself would be at the top of the food chain if it weren't for the Amazonian squirrel.
Can't leave the Amazon without a phoon! Unfortunately, Arthur and Leslie's "pose" makes this phoon photo unusable for the family friendly phoon website.
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