"The Loser And The Ring" by J.R.R. Tolkien

Here's a potential MENSA member:

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/state/20041212-2012-ca-marinesring.html

He's a marine whose hand was injured in Iraq. He had a choice between saving his finger or destroying his wedding ring. And he chose the ring! So they had to chop off his finger.

He says he did it for his wife. Is that suppose to be love? I'm no Librarian, but shouldn't that be filed under incredibly stupid? What wife would want her husband to do that? Would she have given him a hard time if he chose otherwise?

Wife: "You had a choice, you know."

Husband: "A choice? They were going to cut off my finger!"

Wife: "Yeah, so?"

Husband: "MY FINGER!"

Wife: (sighs) "God, you are soooo unromantic."

The best part of the story? After they cut off his finger, his "precioussss" somehow GOT LOST! That's right. The ring is gone! Just like his finger. How cool is that? If there really is a god, I'll tell you what, he's fucking hilarious! Since both his finger and wedding ring are now officially lost, at least his sanity has some company. Please excuse me while I say: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And then giggle...like a Japanese schoolgirl with Hello Kitty lip gloss.

I think this shows why no one should ever pay more than $20 for a wedding ring. Unless, of course, it has cool features like wireless internet or the ability to decode secret messages like the colorful graffiti you see on freeway bridges. Am I the only one who can never figure out what the heck those taggers are trying to say?